Blondes, Brunettes, and Blue Bananas. Part I

We Owe The Night

It was the last year for the annual singles cruise to Ensenada, but for the last three years, me and my two best friends Marvin and Gavin, had missed every single one prior to this year. In fact, if it weren’t for being in the right place at the right time we would have been surely destined to miss this one too. “Since it’s going to be three of us in one room, we need to spend the extra money and get the Superior Grand Suite with the balcony overlooking the ocean.” Those were Gavin’s exact words to me and Marvin the same day we booked the trip. Up until this point, neither me nor Marvin had never been on a cruise before let alone a singles cruise, so we both just nodded our heads in agreement letting him know it was all good.
To make things easier each person had a certain job they were responsible for so that we wouldn’t forget anything and tasks for our trip would be distributed evenly. Now, even though bringing your own alcohol aboard the ship was totally prohibited, I still had the task of smuggling the seven liters and 8 gallons of hard liquor on board that we purchased the night before. From what we understood, hard alcohol at the bar or anywhere on the ship was gonna cost an arm and a leg and since we had already spent a small fortune on our “George W. Bush Presidential Players Penthouse,” I was under the impression we had to be smart about our money.

It wasn’t until days later that I remembered telling Gavin a few weeks earlier, (while I was inebriated I’m sure), “What’s the purpose of us even going on this trip if any one of us have to stick to some punk ass budget.” It wasn’t until we actually had to pay for this “Floating Palace” as he called it, that this clever son of a bitch Gavin, took what I said literally. Speaking of Gavin, his job was to make sure he got the three ounces of weed we all chipped in for and those other adult party favors he decided to bring. Not that I was against it, (in fact I had heard these particular ones were pretty dam good ) but this dude wasn’t the most convincing first time smuggler I ever met in my life either.  Marvin’s only job was to drive the rental car from our hometown to the cruise ship which was docked 6 hours away in a port in Los Angeles.

The ship was scheduled to leave on Friday at 12pm, so the plan was to leave on that Thursday afternoon about 2pm, so we could take our time getting to L.A without having to rush,  have time to crash at a cheap motel and  hopefully catch a few z’s before our weekend extravaganza. We all arranged to meet at Marvin’s house by 4pm at the very latest. As far as me I actually didn’t end up arriving at his house until about 6pm, so while I felt guilty for holding up the trip, when I walked in Gavin wasn’t there yet either. We were all running way behind from all the last minute procrastination and bullshitting between us. “Fuck dude, it’s almost 830pm, were the hell are you at bro?” said Marvin, who was talking to Gavin through the speakerphone at the time. “I know man, I was waiting for somebody to drop something off, but I’m on the way, and I’m leaving as we speak” said Gavin. You see, at the end of the day, Marvin, had a job as a driver to keep us all on schedule and get us to the ship in one piece.
It was about five minutes to 10pm before the rubber hit the road that night. The idea was for us to stay as sober as long as we could, so we wouldn’t be that sluggish the next morning and still have plenty of energy to attend this so called party of the century on board the ship at 2pm sharp. I was told it was supposedly some legendary party where anything goes. I was never sure what that meant exactly, but from the sound of it, I didn’t see the point of asking either. We hadn’t even made it to the freeway on ramp before all the shit talking, arguing and finger pointing commenced between us about who’s fault it was that we were running so many hours behind schedule. However, once we all got our testosterone in check, it wasn’t before long we were passing a liter of Grey Goose Vodka in the car back and forth with the marijuana in heavy rotation as well.